Think about the last time you made a major career decision. I'm thinking of one of mine, in particular.
Was it about leaving a job for a new one? Changing directions in your career altogether?
Was it a debate about which of the job offers you would accept?
How easy was that? How long did it take you?
In hindsight, some of my career decisions took too long to play out. Afterward, my wife would ask, “Why didn't you do that sooner?”
I'm also thinking of a major decision that was in the news today–it's been drawn out over the past few weeks, and it's a more important decision than one I've ever considered.
Lessons from Motivational Interviewing
During my career, one of the most helpful concepts I've learned about is “motivational interviewing.” See more blog posts about this approach. This approach has roots in addiction counseling, developed by William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick in the 1980s to help individuals struggling with substance abuse find their own motivations for change. Its principles can be applied far beyond addiction, proving invaluable in leadership and coaching.
One incredibly useful lesson is the idea that:
Accepting change is a process. It's not like flipping a light switch.
We usually need to convince ourselves that a change is better than maintaining the status quo — even when the change is OUR idea.
In a way, leaders can become “addicted to the status quo.” The comfort and familiarity of existing processes, even if suboptimal, can create a strong “resistance to change,” as some might call it. This addiction to the status quo is not just about fear of the unknown but also about the inertia that comes from routine and perceived stability.
Consider President Joe Biden's recent decision to end his re-election campaign. This unexpected and monumental decision didn't happen overnight. Despite facing immense pressure and personal challenges, Biden took his time, weighing his options and considering the impact on his party and the nation. His announcement to support Vice President Kamala Harris as the Democratic nominee underscores the complexity and gravity of such decisions.
Motivational Interviewing teaches us that people get “stuck” in the change process. They have, at the same time:
- Reasons TO change
- Reasons NOT to change
As long as the reasons to NOT change outweigh the reasons TO change, people will stay with the status quo.
Can we “motivate” them to make a decision? No. We can really only help them convince themselves.
How Can We Help?
In the Motivational Interviewing approach, we ask the person we're coaching to state the reasons WHY they want to make the change. Saying those reasons out loud strengthens one's commitment to change.
If you ask about barriers or reasons why to not change, saying those reasons out loud weakens the commitment to change and keeps one in the status quo.
Practical Steps for Leaders:
- Listen Actively: Pay attention to the reasons people give for both wanting and not wanting to change.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage deeper reflection by asking questions that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.”
- Reflect and Affirm: Reflect back what you hear to validate their feelings and affirm their reasons for considering change.
- Encourage Self-Motivation: Help them articulate their motivations for change and how it aligns with their values and goals.
Read a previous blog post about helping a nurse manager who said she was stuck:
The next time you see somebody taking “too long” to make the “obvious decision,” have a little patience. Instead of backing away and labeling them as “resistant to change,” lean in and be a coach or a counselor.
Help that person talk themselves into change. That's not the same as trying to manipulate them to do what YOU want.
They have reasons TO change. They have reasons NOT to.
Help them through that process using the lessons from Motivational Interviewing. Just as President Biden's significant decision reflects a complex, personal, and strategic process, many of us face similar deliberations in our personal and professional lives. Understanding this can foster empathy and effective support for those we coach or counsel.
Motivational Interviewing books and courses challenge us by asking, “Do you want to be right or do you want to help that other person?”
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Check out my latest book, The Mistakes That Make Us: Cultivating a Culture of Learning and Innovation:
This is such a great piece, Mark!
Both in helping us better anderstand the recent slow decision as well as the helpful concept of motivational interviewing! Congrats!